Yesterday, I was so deathly ill that I couldn’t get out of bed. I caused it.
I was so stressed out about something that I literally made myself sick. Granted, the subject was deep, so any thought about something that cuts that deep to the bone is going to have reverberations. It involved someone who means the world to me, and it involved some guilt over doing the wrong thing, even though I was trying so hard to do the right thing.
Has that ever happened to anyone else?
Anyway, the bottom line was that I felt like a heel, and I couldn’t stop thinking of what I could do to make it up, but what was done was done. And I was carrying a lot of fear about the subject, and guess what? When you feel afraid, really afraid, you’re more likely to cause a total collapse than you would be if you felt strong, clear, and capable.
So I had to put off other work and sleep half the day. That doesn’t make it easier, but in truth, problems like overwork pale in comparison to problems like messing up one of the most important relationships in your life.
I took advantage of modern medicine and took lots of Vitamin C, used a humidifier, got those tissues with lotion in them, and just generally admitted to myself that I created this illness and that this, too, shall pass.
Now back to fixing my side of the relationship…
Hope I have better news for your tomorrow!!